Allow me to re-introduce myself. My name is Hillary. I am a 23-year old American female.
I started this blog to chronicle my life. From the biggest of events, down to the smallest of inclinations throughout each and every day. That has been very difficult for me to keep up with, but here’s to hoping that I will change my ways, and stay focused.
A lot has changed since I started this blog. I was permanently employed, and on a career track. I was engaged to be married. That was my life, and everything I knew. All of that is no longer true.
In June of this year, I was laid off from my Project Management position. I loved my job there, and I didn’t realize how much losing my position would impact my entire life. They gave no notice, and have no plans of bringing me back to work for them. I was so disappointed. They couldn’t even give me a good reason for terminating my employment aside from, “financial issues” within the company. The part that killed me the most, was their frivolous spending (including new cars, new office furniture, long and expensive daily lunches, etc.). They claim that they couldn’t afford to keep a few of us, but never did they limit their unnecessary spending.
On top of that, they brought in a new employee shortly before terminating me, essentially to take over my position. I had to train this girl to do exactly what I was doing, and I was forced to give her all of the documents that I had spent so much time perfecting. All the while, they were ensuring me that she was not taking my position, and that I had nothing to worry about.
On June 11, 2013, my fiancé and I decided to discontinue our relationship. It was mostly a mutual decision but there are reasons behind it that made it my decision alone. There is enough evidence compiled to prove that he was cheating on me, despite me never have physically caught him in the act. There were lies and deception, and interpersonal conflicts that I could no longer deal with. And it still saddens me to this day. I had grown exceptionally close to his family, and all of that was lost. I cared for them more than I do for most of my actual family. It was a difficult, but obviously necessary decision.
Unfortunately, the timing was absolutely terrible.
June 14th, he moved out and got his own place. June 19th, my bosses decided to terminate my position.
I was left hopeless, devastated, and with absolutely no plans for my immediate future. One of the hardest things throughout this entire situation was when on Friday, June 16, 2013 my boss found out that my fiancé and I had separated and that he had moved out and I was moving that very weekend. His words to me were, “as hard as this situation may be, I think it’s important that you remember that you have a job here. A home here. And that’s not going anywhere.” The following Monday they laid me off. I had just took on a monthly rent payment, and had separated from my fiancé, whom had been previously responsible for half of all of our bills. To leave me so financially desecrated was one of the lowest things anyone had ever done to me. To give me no further explanation than that they were dealing with financial hardship within the company, was just awful. How could they do that to me? My performance while with that company spoke for itself. I know that I had done an exceptional job with all of the tasks they had laid on my shoulders.
To state the obvious, June was a very difficult month for me.
I remained unemployed until mid-October, when I took a position at a forging plant. The work was unbearable, and after seriously contemplating suicide, I left the company. I had never done anything like that before. I gave no notice whatsoever, and just left. It was terrible. But I have absolutely no regrets.
With my short time at that forging plant, I considered suicide. I started cutting again, which I hadn’t done for nearly three years. It was just awful.
November came as a much needed spiritual lift. I found a position through a temporary staffing company, and I am still there. I am working in data entry, and I enjoy the work. Because I have done such a good job, and far surpassed the fourteen other temporary employees on this project, I know that I have been noticed. My goal is to get hired permanently into the company, and my supervisor has brought up to me that possibility. I am very excited, but trying desperately to not get my hopes up. If I did get hired, it would be in compliance. She told me that because I have done so well with what we are doing, she sees me as a perfect fit for that area.
I also started school back up. I am enrolled back at ITT-Technical Institute, but in a different program. I was previously studying Electronics Engineering Technology, but hated it. I really struggled learning the material, and wasn’t happy. I have now switched to Software Development. It is an Associate’s program. Because of the testing out I had previously done, and the classes I had already taken in my electrical program, I have already completed 7/25 of the class requirements. Therefore, switching programs didn’t cause me to lose any progress whatsoever, which is a pretty big relief.
Needless to say, I am very busy now. I’m working full time, Monday through Friday. Then immediately after work, I have class on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Despite the difficulties I have faced in the past several months, I am staying positive, and staying focused.